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Sorry last post of the night I’ve blown up the news feed today but please actually read this it needs to come off my chest.⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ this is my story that goes with the #metoo thing going around.. it is a long story but honestly worth the read to understand why I am the way I am and what I’ve been through.

When I lived with my mother (my dad got custody of me at age 6) she was married to Michael (she has been married 5 times now but whatever).. I truly loved him, always by his side wanting to do everything he done. He and my mom had a baby my all time best friend Katie. For years everything was fine. We were happy. Then everything seemed to change. He became semi abusive towards my little sister to the point where I would literally sleep with her just so maybe he would leave her alone.. I would hear him coming late at night to her room. I would cuddle her so closely but he would move me just to spank her repeatedly for no reason and slam the door. She would be sleeping and this fucker would do this to her. Things got better he got help.. well it got better for her I should say (which I am so happy for) I’m age 5 now I when this begins. I noticed he would watch me bath a lot. Seemed normal I’m little I need to be watched some.. but he would stare.. make small comments “ you’re filling out well like your mom” shit like that. I ignored it. I’m 5 what do I know? A day I will never forget is him getting me out of the bath like he always did but this time was different. He didn’t help me get dressed and made sure I brushed my hair like he usually done he just let me wrap a towel around me and told me to go to the living room. I done what I was told. My brother and sister weren’t home but my mom was. Anyway he sets me in his lap and pulls out his penis and plays with it. I knew something wasn’t right and asked where my mom was.. he said doing laundry just sit here. I started to cry I didn’t understand what was happening. He started touching me down there and touching himself. I felt so wrong. I heard my mom I saw her walk by and seriously look I cried out to her but she didn’t stop and did nothing. He let me go after she walked by and I called out for her. But she done nothing at all. I was always scared of him after that. A few weeks later I was looking for my CD (Hillary Duff) and heard it playing in their bedroom so I went and knocked and asked if I could have my CD back when I heard him say come in I did he was naked leaning against the bed playing with himself he said if you want the CD come get it.. I ran away yelling for my mom who still didn’t do anything. Nothing ever happened again with him because they got a divorce not because of me but because my mom found someone else.. but this mother fucker will never be out of my life ... he has custody of my little sister and I make a point to see her and ask her if he does anything. She says he doesn’t and I know she would tell me if he did because she knows I would literally do anything to get her out. I’ve tried asking my mom (when I see her) why she never done anything about it and she tells me to stop lying none of that happened I was five and making up things... I have neve told my dad this because it’s been so long and I just can’t. But being told I am lying about something I still have nightmares about kills me. I will never forgive her and I will never stop asking my sister if everything is okay. I’m forever scarred by him. And it’s sad he will never be out of my life.

Another sexual assault case I have been through. I worked morning shift at A restaurant popular here in Alabama (Jacks). There was an old man who was always really nice to me so I would go by his table while cleaning the lobby just to ask how he was doing (about 68-74 ish years old ) he would always tell me how pretty I was I would say thank you and think nothing of it. Then one day he shows me a picture of his dead wife and said I look just like her (which I really kinda did freaky but okay) I said well I am sorry for your loss she was beautiful. He followed me that day at work kept talking and grabbing at me. He finally was leaving and came to tell me bye. I said bye have a good day and tried to walk away but he grabbed me by the arm and said you are giving me a hug I tried to pull away but couldn’t so just let him hug me then he grabs my face and I jerk my head to the side and he kisses my cheek (obviously going for my lips) I manage to get away and run to the back crying. I told my boss what was wrong and nothing was done. A week later this old bastard comes back in I stay behind the counter and pretend to be really busy. He yells at me trying to get my attention but I ignore him. I apparently had some stain on the back of my pants where my butt was because he loudly said you have something on your butt I would like to take my magic marker to that. Everyone heard it. I ran off crying and grossed out. Nothing was done again. I ended up quitting for my own safety to not see him anymore because they weren’t going to help me.

I know this was long but I’ve never really told people about this. And it feels good to get it off my chest. Just know if anything like this has happened to you YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Don’t let people tell you otherwise. I’m here for you. I’m a survivor of it and I will continue to fight for my sanity to move on and stay strong for not only me but others.

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Comments

— You are so strong for sharing. You brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry you have went through that. ❤

— I'm so sorry! You are a strong woman!💖💖💖

— What kind of mother could just let that happen?! I would have personally removed his penis and shove it down his throat right then and there. I would have smashed his hands with a fucking hammer for hitting his daughter like that in the first place. I am so sorry you have to deal with that kind of shit. It stays with you and it hurts. I'm so so sorry.

— I’m also a survivor! 💪🏻

— Me too 😣 still breaks my heart today I was 4 years old and I find myself watching my kid (age 4) wondering wtf did he see in a child. God bless may your mind be healed cause mines isn't all the way there ♥️

— @rikki.ferguson, thank you, I’m not saying I am happy this stuff has happened to me because well I am not. But it has shaped me into the person I am today and I am thankful for being stronger and more cautious

— @damiensmommy1117, trust me I know. If anyone ever done anything even close to any of my future kids his penis would be severed. I would put a blender up to it and let it chop it and watch him suffer. It does stay with me and it does hurt but it also makes me stronger than I ever thought I could be especially at a young age. Don’t be sorry for me ❤️