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Any advice on taking care of an elderly family member?
My grandfather has dementia and I am taking care of him, but it’s taking a toll on me! He is very harsh with words and gets extremely physical. What can I do to make this easier on both of us?

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— Taking care of someone with dementia is extremely tough, I use to be a CNA on a unit that was strictly just residents with dementia. Honestly it really depends how bad is his dementia? Are there certain things that trigger his physical behavior or harsh words? By the way I am sorry your grandpa has dementia! You’re doing an amazing thing by taking care of him.feel free to ask me any questions maybe I could help.

— @michellemybell09, his dementia is getting worse, which is expected. He seems to get triggered by showers/getting cleaned up if he has an accident. He has lived with my family for a while and we suffered a house fire on May 1st. It got wayyyy worse after that. He has since had to go from place to place as we don’t have a house yet. He is staying with a family friend right now, who says he can stay there until the house is done. They are basically just feeding him and letting him sleep there though. I have to still do the clean up and whatnot, and that’s when he gets upset. I just hate seeing him like this, it’s not my Grandpa!

— Awww. I truly feel for you. My grandpa has dementia as well and he lives in a group home. It's so hard seeing him that way.

— Would his insurance pay for some in home help?

— @shauna.johnson, it’s probably because at this point he feels like you’re invading his privacy and independence. Sometimes trying to talk them though it and maybe if he can let him help with the process.? My grandpa has dementia as well but it got really bad and he is in a nursing home for vets. At this point he really doesn’t remember anyone but hasn’t gotten violent yet. Being moved can cause things to get worse so I understand that even when residents were moved to a different room then they were before it would set them back. It’s really hard to watch someone change so much.

— @jleona, it’s very hard. We tried a place that said they would take the best care of him, but turns out they couldn’t handle him. They said they were not staffed correctly and to remove him from their care if we didn’t like how it was going. Needless to say, he is not there any longer.

— @kbbaybee16, they say that they can not provide more than a few hours a day, but he needs 24/7 care, which is what I’m doing.

— @michellemybell09, I am sure he feels embarrassed, I understand that fully. I wish we could find a home for him around us, but the one we tried was very sketchy and it makes me even more uneasy now to trust anyone. He’s a handful, but I can’t just push him off on someone else. He’s my grandpa, and I will keep doing what I can for him until I no longer can! I just wish there was a way to make it a bit easier on both of us.

— @shauna.johnson, I can understand that completely. Like I said before what you’re doing so absolutely amazing and selfless❤️. I hope you will be able to find a way isn’t so tough on both of you!

— @shauna.johnson, I’d take those few hours help honestly it may help

— @michellemybell09, thank you so much!

— @kbbaybee16, I don’t trust very many people, and it makes me a tad bit uncomfortable to have someone in my home like that. I may have to suck it up and let someone in for a few hours. A little break here and there isn’t too bad!

— @shauna.johnson, oooo i didn’t know it was your home. I get where you’re coming from