В воскресенье у нас рождественский ужин с димиными однокашниками по бизнесс-школе, я взялась организовать шутейную рождественскую беспроигрышную лотерею. Призы заказала на прошлой неделе, сегодня написала текстовку представления призов. Бюджет примерно £50, у нас получилось по £5 с человека. Может, кому еще пригодится, чтобы голову не ломать, даю текст и ссылки на призы.
№10
The Reindeer Horns http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Reindeer-Antlers-Flashing-Nose/dp/B004WD0S44/ref=sr_1_2?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1324066801&sr=1-2
This prize was kindly presented by Green Peace Organization. Well, you know they are quite persuading when they collect money but not very generous when giving something away. So, the reindeer whose horns I’m happily presenting to you died by 100% natural causes of influenza and before that his last will was to be treated as Rudolph.. And that is the best way the Green Peace could do. So please don’t chuck the horns away to the bin when leaving the party, please have some respect and let them last at least one Christmas!!
№9
The Snowmen headband http://www.amazon.co.uk/Snowman-Christmas-Boppers-Headband-Accessory/dp/B004B62Z20/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1324066756&sr=1-1-spell
This headband was generously given to us by British Weather Forecast Association. They promised that wearing it across your town or city dramatically increases the chances of a heavy snowfall in your area. The wiggling snowmen make some high-frequency waves that attract snow clouds and may cause a local snowfall in your garden. Before you notice all the neighbourhood children are in your garden playing snowballs and you are serving mulled wine to their parents. Unfortunately mulled wine is not provided by our sponsor.
№8
Elf’s hat with free pair of Elf’s ears http://www.amazon.co.uk/GIRLS-SCHOOL-CHRISTMAS-SANTAS-HELPER/dp/B0046BLAJO/ref=sr_1_2?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1324066694&sr=1-2
This rare item was nicked by my friend from the house of Peter Jackson. If you don’t know who Peter Jackson is –then you just don’t deserve this item. Because this amazing hat was filmed in a great number of episodes of the Fellowship of the Ring movie (which accidently were not included into it’s final release) and was worn by Orlando Bloom and Liv Tyler. Yeah, both of them! So if you want to add some spice into your sexual life don’t take it off tonight when going to bed and your partner will surely appreciate your Elf-like appearance.
№7
Mrs Claus Wig and Hat http://www.amazon.co.uk/Santa-Hat-Red-White-Plaits/dp/B000ZQC6N8/ref=sr_1_6?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1324066649&sr=1-6
This amazing set was sent over to me by my old friend Mrs Claus. In the covering letter she wrote that she didn’t need it any longer and that her hair has already grown out after her last break down when she’s gone all Britney Spears and shaved her head.. after Mr Claus decided to shave his beard off to look younger and sexier. She said that this hat and wig made her Christmas last year and that if you’re depressed of tired or only upset by something – wear it all the time and people will start smiling at you more often and that’ll help you to get over it very soon. Especially – if you’re a male.
№6
Mr Claus Hat http://www.amazon.co.uk/Smiffys-Santa-Hat-Red/dp/B000W9K2BQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1324066649&sr=1-1
Actually this hat was also given to me by Mrs Claus. She said that it is old and dusty and it’s been through you don’t even want to know what. She tried to get rid of it for a couple of years already – she chucked it into the rubbish bin, she’s hidden it in the loft.. and in the basement.. and in the shade. She’s given it to elfs and to reindeers and even to squirrels (snitching bastards!!).. But Mr Claus somehow managed to get it back from all the places and keeps saying that this is his lucky hat. Well I guess it is if once he bothered to follow the dump truck for 20 miles wearing only a shower curtain. Anyway this year Mr Claus gets a new hat from his lovely wife and you’re getting some of his luck together with this wonderful smelly hat.
Now we’re getting to the serious bit with big prises so please get yourselves together and be ready with your “Thank you” speeches. (For this part I don't show the prizes before I announce them.)
№5
Racing Grannies http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000SA07AU
The next prize was kindly granted to us by the Retirement Property just round the corner from where we leave called Hatfield Heaven. As if.. you know.. being there makes you closer to.. the place.. I personally would think twice before buying an appartment there for my parents, unless.. Anyway here it is! Only for our Christmas Raffle they give away for Christmas Holliday two grannies instead of their usual “One family – one granny” deal. The grannies are guaranteed to be funny and very quick for their age and you’re gonna have a great time this Christmas with them. Having them in the house will keep your children busy and you can enjoy an extra glass of wine on the upcoming X-mas eve. You can bring them back to Hatfield Heaven on Boxing Day or the day after that.
№4
USB Cap Warmer. (Multy-purpose USB Device) http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0029MSH02
Our next amazing prize came free with the £500 bill for minor repairs of my notebook. The guy said that he’s found so much ground coffee and sugar and bread crumbs and even some smoked salmon under the keys and thought that I’d really benefit from having a built-in coffeemaker. But it’s not a coffeemaker. The box says it’s a cup warmer which I disagree. There is a hundred and one purpose for this amazing gadget and you’ll be able to try them all if you are lucky today. Just a few of them – a flashing disco light, a pancakes-maker, a hatchery, a bum warmer if you sit on it, a torture device – if you put it under your opponent’s naked bum and many others.
№3
Miniature pool table http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000KVZHEI
It is widely believed that only men like to play with balls. However that is not true! Our next prize was kindly presented by the Female Association of Balls Lovers of Britain. These women speak openly about their love to the balls games and also insist that the size of the balls doesn’t really reflect the degree of satisfaction you can get from playing with them. If you take at least two well-made balls and add a cue stick to them – you’ll be amazed what a great time you can have even being on your own. It will cheer you up and sometimes even make your day! So it is essential to be able to carry these things around anywhere you go. Just don’t forget to lock the room from inside before you start playing – you don’t want to be caught playing with your balls during your working hours, do you?! So here is our perfect Christmas present for anyone – a male or female – you just have to be open-minded and brave enough to admit you love... snooker!
№2 and №1
Desktop Henry Vacuum Cleaner http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B001GNTLGY vs Roulette Drink Set http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B002RIKL66
Now there are only two of you left without any prizes and it’s obvious that you’ll get the best ones – the 1st one and the 2nd one! To make it more interesting for you I think it’s better to make it a charade competition. I will describe the items to you and the one who guesses what any of them is – gets it!
- They are both mostly black and red
- They are both round and not very big
- You can use them on your desktop
- One of them is good at the party and another one – after the party
- One of them can make you drunk and another one can make you tired
- One of them can be described as a toy for boys and another one – as a toy for girls though many girls would prefer to play more often with the first one and never see the other one
- Both of them have to be operated by humans but one of them requires some alcohol to work properly and the other one is powered by batteries
- One of them spins very well and another one sucks very well
- One of them is usually used for gambling and the other one is called Henry
