1.
I will literally DIE if you don't stop using hyperboles incorrectly
2.
I before e... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor
3.
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
4.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
5.
Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar
6.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
7.
Q: What is Grammar?
A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.
8.
The exclamation mark said to the period "Why aren't you bleeding?"
9.
Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi?
A: There, Their, They're
10.
11.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day... "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right