I
used to think that people often had children to fill a void of a failing
marriage, or a lost love, or professional frustration, or whatever.
That's rubbish. And every parent knows it the moment they see that
second pink line. But I could formulate it in my head only this morning
when I was stroking Alyona's face, and it made her laugh. A child opens
up a whole new world of happiness, but it does
not close up old wounds, it just makes you happy about being a parent,
but it doesn't make you love other people any more or any less, doesn't
make you smarter, more beautiful, a better professional. Whatever
unresolved issues you had before, will still be there eating away at
you. Whatever made you miserable before will still make you miserable. And it's unfair to expect your child to magically fix everything. A
child is not a crutch or a distraction. It's not a plaster for your old
cuts or concealer for your old spots. A child is joy in and of itself.