Про русских детей, выросших в иммигрантских семьях
Having so much food on the table at every single party your parents host that can last for weeks when the party ends.
Your mom tells you to eat something she just made and you say "mama, i'm not hungry," and she replies "a shto?! nada bit golodnim shtob eta pokushat?!"
Getting enough food to feed 10 people every week for one, and then being asked every day till next week "U tebia est chto kushat?
Running out of semechki is a crisis.
Kinder Suprise is THE best thing in the world.
You say "Blin!" instead of "Shit!"
the main sport every russian kid has had to play once in their life: tennis, soccer, and durаk. if u dont know how to play durak, u should be disinherited.
When you get sunburned your grandparents tell you to put smetana on it
At one point in your life, you had a carpet hanging on your wall.
There is no right time to eat anything cold. You either are sick, were just sick, or will get sick.
There are only 3 types of anti-septic your parents trust and use: zelyonka, iod and marganzovka. So you have variety of choices to be green, orange or purple.
"Holodets" is also known as "Jellied minced meat cooked with eggs and pig feet." Try getting any of your American friends to try that one.
Your mom insists that you clean your room before the cleaning lady comes "shtobi nye bilo stidno"
When relatives and family friends tell you: "you know when your mother was your age she already had a husband and a kid to take care of..."
When you come home from school or work you must change into your "domashniya" clothes.
Every single event in your life is somehow indicative of whether or not you will get married
Forget the Tylenol - every cold must be treated with "bankee". Papa stands over you with a torch while mamma puts blankets on your back & yells at you to keep still. Then trying to hide the round circles on your back from your American friends.
"A chto k chau?"
When you invite a friend to your house, and your mother begins feeding him/her, you know she approves. Likewise, if no food is offered, you know not to bring them back
When a black cat crosses the road and your immediately stops the car and refuses to go until somebody else passes her.
Your mom will never throw away old garments because they make good "tryapki"
If there is a birthday party, your whole family will sing "Heppy Byorzday tu yu"
The only "tupperware" in your house is old smetana containers.
When your American boyfriend visits, your papa immediately takes off his tapochki and gives them to him. Your mama is hustling to find more tapochki around the house so everyone's feet are covered
You make up a middle name for yourself because explaining "eemya ochestva" to Americans is impossible.
When you eat too many sweets, mom goes : A popa ne slipnitsa?
Explaining to your American friends that your family is neither yelling or fighting just talking to each other
At the end of the day having to tell your mother every detail of what you did including how many times you went to the bathroom
When you see a middle-aged aunt or female relative, after not having seen them for a long period of time, and the first thing out of her mouth is "oh ti tak popravilas!" or "oh ti tak pohudela!"
Your mom does laps around the house on the phone repeating the phrase line "nu shto tebye skazat.."
when you have a rash or infection and your grandmother takes out "margonsovka" and tells you to bathe in it! But when you grow up you find out..its poisonous!
God forbid you sneeze then you must have temperatyra and better put some zvezdochka on and go to bed.
After accidentally stepping on your friend's foot, you have to make sure they step on yours "so you won't fight." I remember many a day chasing my American friends around begging them to "Step on my foot!" or explaining to them that I "Need" to step on their foot if they stepped on mine.
None of your American friends' moms wear see-through clothes.
At New Years at your parents' house, you sit at the kids table (with your own kids); one of your parents friends dresses up as Ded Moroz; and your American friends don't understand when you explain that he is NOT associated with Xmas and that you decorated a "New Year's Tree"
Your mom buys the ugliest shirt at TJ Maxx and when you tell her that it's not that cute, she says: "But it's Calvin Klein"
ржака)))))
